peace

i am gratefully tucked away in the himalayas in a place called mcleod ganj, the home of the dalia lama and the tibetan government in exile. getting here was one of my favorite adventures of the trip. after spending a really lovely time in a hill station, we took a 12-hour bus ride through the mountains to get here. i sat in the single seat beside the driver offering panaramic views of everything, including the tires slipping off the road and near very-frequent crashes. most people's stomaches couldn't handle it, so i got the "queen" nickname from my friends by directing the bus upfront where not even the indians wanted to go. i loved it.

despite grand plans while here, i am passing the days getting lost in the streets and running into friends wherever i go. despite all of this alone travel, it has been difficult for me to get any time to myself as i am surrounded by lovely people and random run-ins from friends along the way throughout india. i am also coming to some amazing revolutions of this trip and have had some time to digest what has happened before and even look forward to what i have back at home in chicago in a precious few weeks.

i don't know what i have done correctly in my life, but i am spending another consecutive spring in the mountains. my spring in the rockies last year was extremely meaningful for me and spending time in the himalayas has certainly not been without inspiration. there is something about the gushing melting waters of the mountains that really makes me motivated for new beginnings. and although i am wearing everything that i have brought to stay warm, the rest of india is completely burning up without my presence. and for that, among many other things, i am grateful. i spent last night with friends watching violent, beautiful storms glide over the himalayas from the porch in our guesthouse. it was beautiful.

and speaking of grateful, i have been able to leave my sequestered 3-foot distance from any bathroom to write this blog. while i am in the best space emotionally and spiritually here, i have had a bit of the skids health wise. i am struggling with a strange combination of mountain parasite and likely a bacterial intestinal thing. plus, i have some old stress fractures in my feet resurfacing that i am trying to stay off of and learn my lesson from the past hip fractures. i am so happy to be stuck in a place that i enjoy and in which i have friends who have found 7-up and toilet paper for me in my greatest need. but despite these things, i am really having the best time here. and that isn't sarcasm.

AND, i have had the opportunity to add visiting an indian hospital to my traveling repertoire. doesn't that just make you want to kick back and have a drink with me when i return? yes, there will be many stories. and this one includes paying 25 cents to see the doctor, elbowing monks and other sick people to keep my place in "line," then paying $2 for an x-ray. once said and done in 5 hours, the doctor couldn't find breaks in my foot by holding my x-ray up to the sunlight (although stress fractures don't show anyway) and i got to spend some quality time among people fighting TB and other diseases i don't even want to know still exist. plus, one of the most aggressive monks must have respected my fortitude, as he even stopped to give me a free lift in his cab up the very steep climb back to town.

still, i swear, i am extremely happy and having the best time of my trip. there is something about india that makes these things seem normal and you just come to a place where challenges are just part of the every day. i have come to the realization that india is about overcoming. so much of travel here is, frankly, unpleasant. and the most astute and fearless traveler will confide in you how difficult it has been over a shared chai or ginger tea when you get him alone. budget traveling circles can get very competitive and i have shown my vulnerability without shame to people with my fears and frustrations.

i think traveling alone also makes you face your demons. and i'm sure there are many more on the way, but i feel like i have figured some things out for myself. for now at least. and the best part is just how much you come to terms with in what you possess in your life. and between my family, friends, abilities, and sheer luck in my life, i have much to think about and be grateful for. and also think of how i want to improve on all of these things i am grateful for in my life. and so struggling with daily stupid things becomes overshadowed by this overwhelming sense of what i DO have instead of what is lacking.

i am registered for a weekend at this buddhist center where i will be learning some things that i think will help me in my future career. it is about facing death so that you can live your life in a better way. it is also about helping people at the end of their lives. i find this interesting on many personal and professional levels right now in my life and am excited about being a part o this program. then i decide if i want to stay for a 10-day retreat where i will learn the fundamentals of buddhism and meditation.

so here i am, in a place more feeling like tibet than india. i am studying buddhism when i thought i would be studying hinduism. i am sitting in one place when i thought i would be stretching my body at a yoga ashram. i am cold and wet when i should be baking elsewhere. but such is my life. and i am happy that my travels have brought me here. and again, i am grateful.